What To Expect
“This is the correct way to…”
Ugh. I’m sure a statement of this variety has been directed at you, and someday, it will be directed at me, too. Somehow, I’ve skated by this past year without hearing it (maybe I’ve been blocking it out), and I know it won’t be for long. I didn’t realize certain judgments existed until I gave birth and began listening to other moms and reading their blogs.
I didn’t realize some people “frown upon” the use of baby carriers, especially wraps, or breastfeeding publicly… or formula feeding, for that matter… or vaccinating, circumcising, medicating, or, or, or…the list goes on.
Don’t people have their own affairs to attend to?
I feel like I consider myself lucky, because no one has given me grief (at least, to my face) regarding my parenting decisions.
There is no ideal parent (or, in the broader scheme, person). There is no “rule book” for what to do in any given scenario. What it really all comes down to is you have to do the best you can with the information you have to make sure your kid doesn’t turn into a jerk. And there’s a whole lot of praying and hoping where that is concerned.
I’ve only been at it a year, but I can safely say “my” way isn’t the only way of doing things. There are vast choices to be made where offspring are concerned. There are contradictory articles all over the internet. You’ll feel guilty if you don’t feed them hand-mashed vegetables from locally-sourced producers, and you’ll feel guilty for not hand-stitching your own cloth diapers and cleaning them religiously. You’ll feel guilty for doing the “wrong” thing for teething or for… (fill in the blank), You will be judging yourself enough—you don’t have to listen to another person’s judgments.
I’m here to tell you this:
Though my wisdom is far from infinite, there is no “correct” way to parent, just as there is no standard way to live. You have to do what keeps you and your family happy and healthy, and if anyone tries to steal that from you, handle it accordingly. Life is too short to be nagged for your personal choices. If you’re a mom, you have kids to worry about, in addition to your own personal sanity, but this applies to non-parents as well. You have to do what works for you. Period.!
Even though some “advice givers” may be well-intentioned, you do not have to cave to their opinions. Be true to yourself, and you’re “doing it right.”
By: Sarah ‘1st Time Mama’ Pearce –