gallery How Smug Thou Art!

Thoughts of an English Mum


Now ladies listen up….

It was that time…dread, terror and sheer panic enveloped me as I realised it was time to broach the subject with the 12 year old about heading out to buy new school uniform!!!

Timing is crucial…buy too early and they somehow manage a growth spurt to exceed all others and by the time school rears its ugly head,  perfectly fitting trousers from end of July are now creeping up the shin!!!! Leave it too late and everything is gone (been there done that).

So with much trepidation and a little bribery, we headed out last week to brave the gauntlet. Survival kit checked… sweets, crisps, games, phone and the list…don’t forget the list (been there done that too).

First shop was a surprising success.

Second shop, also somewhat surprisingly successful.

Third shop we were up against it. As we searched the aisles for what we needed, all around was the war-cry of frazzled distraught Mums and bored, moaning children already both at their wits end! It is not a good place to be. Tempers flared, tantrums triumphed and that was simply the Mothers as sweaty, red faced, bored children of all ages refused to try on and sample various items of uniform as the they were cajoled, threatened and then bribed in mainly that order.

My son and I, on a bit of a roll, marched to the changing room with arms full – stifling giggles as we were somehow still miraculously having fun – yes, indeed, we were surprised ourselves – and pointed it out to each other many a time.

48 minutes later…..we had everything. Yes, everything we needed without a single tear, tantrum or cross word – bit of wheeling and dealing over a few items resulted in a bit of give and compromise on both sides, but we emerged victorious much to the disgust and utter contempt of the crowd waiting to come in after us.

I couldn’t resist a smile. He smiled too as he realised what an accomplishment had occurred. Everyone in that line hated us. We didn’t care, we were united.

Mum was cool for once. I was taking that.

Smug is how I felt and I have found it somewhat impossible not to tell everyone of my friends who have yet to start their shopping expeditions. They look at me with not so much pride but more, I would say, envy and resentment – but I don’t care.

I am smug! I am done! Get me!!!!


By Danilo Borges/Portal da Copa, via Wiki Commons
By Danilo Borges/Portal da Copa, via Wiki Commons

By: Debbie Murphy


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